While writing an important story for the high level publication you work for in Chicago, you got stranded in a blizzard in Christmas Town, Alaska. Christmas wasn’t a big thing for you before, but after participating in the local cookie competition with Nick, it is now your favorite time of year. The most wonderful time perhaps. Life is so much better now that you’ve stopped your stressful job and found the true spirit of Christmas, but what do you get for all of your new friends?

When you first got to Christmas Town, the first friend you made was Ethel, the eccentric but wise older woman running the Christmas Cafe. She greeted you with a smile and handed you a warm cup of hot chocolate, or hot cocoa as it’s called in the Hallmark cinematic universe. Like everyone in the Hallmark universe you held the giant mug with both hands, and sighed with happiness as you drank it. She deserves some of the Christmas cookies from the cookie contest.

After Ethel showed you around Christmas Town, you ran into Annie, an incredibly precocious child. Until you met her, you weren’t so sure about Christmas Town, and were desperate to get back to your job. She asked for your help baking christmas cookies for the contest, and with the storm, how could you say no? What Annie wants most for Christmas is a replacement for her deceased mother. The best gift you could give? Marrying her father. Well?

Jen from the office in Chicago has been calling non stop. She’s worried that you won’t get your article on the stolen christmas sleigh done in time. You still need a gift for her. Give Jen a big carton of Folgers Coffee. She’ll love the stale instant coffee. Every Hallmark kitchen has one afterall. It’s not as if Jen hasn’t been seen drinking it for every second she’s been on screen.

What would a small town be without romance? You knew it was really love when he helped you win the Christmas cookie competition with Annie. What should you get him? A sweater. He’s been wearing a sweater the whole week you’ve known him. It probably came from JCPenney. Make sure it has a lot of wooden buttons because that is what Hallmark men like.

Annie‘s grandfather lost the Christmas spirit when his daughter passed away. Guess what will show him the true spirit of Christmas again? A Christmas ornament shaped like a red truck. It will remind him of his own red truck. The Hallmark shop sells them of course. For only 19.95, you too could share the true meaning of Christmas.

Your mother was unhappy when you quit your job to stay in Christmas Town with Nick before she realized that he was actually Santa. What will smooth things over? A bracelet with heart charms. Women love jewelry, especially moms,and if Love Actually and Bridget Jones taught you anything it’s that women love heart shaped jewelry in particular.