The stars impart their weekly dose of wisdom for you lost souls.

	Aries March 21 – April 19 Boo hoo.
	Taurus April 20 - May 20 You will be faced with your most difficult case yet this week when you are assigned to explain why such a small Swedish town has such elaborate detective facilities.
	Gemini May 21 - June 21 You will learn first-hand what “turning Japanese” means this week. It will be the greatest dream of your life.
	Cancer June 22 - July 23 It has been said that predicting the future could be a side-effect of drug use. Unfortunately, it has not been said where said drugs can be found.
	Leo July 24 - August 22 Absolutely everything in your life will become more interesting this week when you compare it to economics.
	Virgo August 23 – September 22 Your computer will crash this week because God hates you.
	Libra September 23 – October 23 You will have an argument with your drunken boyfriend this week. The argument will not be caused by a disagreement nor by your boyfriend’s drunkenness, but by the fact that your boyfriend is a jerk.
	Scorpio October 24 – November 21 Falling asleep in class this week will show you that school hasn’t changed much over the years.
	Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 This week you will be hit by a car and afterwards be proud of all the damage you did to that guy’s BMW.
	Capricorn December 22 – January 19 You will be forced into a position of power this week when a player on the other team gets a two minute minor for hooking.
	Aquarius January 20 – February 18 The stars move in accordance to laws of physics, so don’t blame them for what happens to you this week. Blame physics.
	Pisces February 19 – March 20 This week you will be stricken with writer’s block while making up the horoscopes. How lame is that?

[tags]horoscopes, february[/tags]