Here at BTSB, we have been quite apt at talking about various aspects of student life. Among other things, we've covered writing an MA thesis, working whilst studying, and various tips for freshmen. What we haven't talked much about has been what happens after one's studies. The reason is two-fold, and actually quite simple. First of all, not that many of our editors have graduated and kept on writing (two, the number's two). Second, life sometimes gets in the way of hobbies such as these and taking the plunge into working life tends to sweep one away.

I managed to keep working an honest, steady, 9-5 job for a full year after getting my MA, before making a total U-turn and applying for graduate studies in English philology.

Getting a PhD had become a very tentative plan when I still worked on my gradu and the idea hadn't shook when time came to start working on the application. Somehow, the safety, perks, and pay(!) of a 9-5 job weren't enough to keep me away from returning to at least four years of financial instability and an uncertain future in the laureled halls of academia.

Somewhat ironically, right when I got accepted, the government issued plans to cut university and research funding for years to come. A few years back, the criteria for getting into graduate studies had become more severe as well. This really wasn't the best of times to go at a PhD.

Why bother then? Am I just cray-cray or could there be some kind of universals for what might be decent reasons to apply to graduate studies? Honestly, it's hard to say yet as I won't actually start for another two months, even if  I have a journal article under my belt already. Still, there have been a few realizations that have steered me to this course that might be helpful for others thinking about a life on the grant lane.

First, research is as much an artform as any other. The act of doing research, in my very limited experience, gives a similar thrill as writing a story, or engaging in a heated debate, or any other form of self-expression. Sure, as a literary scholar-to-be, I'll always be a step away from the "actual" art that I want to study, but still the words I write, the thoughts I formulate, are something that no-one else has written or thought of before. That's creation at its purest. (Let me here make clear that this thought is plagiarized from Merja Polvinen, PhD.)

Second, research is a kind of passion. What I've realized during the process of honing my plan for a doctoral thesis has been that conducting a study is a chance to immerse in something one cares deeply about. I've loved literature from a very young age, found some of the most fascinating ideas from science-fiction, and learned to see the world around me in terms of narratives. To go for a PhD gives a chance to engage with the things I've always loved.

The third realization is a little more mundane, but still significant. It also needs a bit of backstory.

I got into the university thinking that I'd become a teacher, preferably in high-school, after some five years of effective studies. In subsequent years (and there were several), I went on to complete teacher training and realized that teaching in a school was probably not for me.

I did find an intrinsic value in the feel of the classroom, in the chance to enlighten and inspire, and in the dynamic between a teacher and their students. In contrast, the societal pressure on schools, their rigid boundaries (brought on by the matriculation exam, for example), and the repetition of the ins-and-outs of the English language had me leave teaching to the more capable and enthusiastic hands of my peers.

Striving for a career in academia, I get to aspire for the aspects of teaching I did enjoy. Sure, I will have traded the rigid architectures of the educational system to those of the academic one, but that'll hopefully be compensated by the two other realizations and all the surprises I will not be prepared for.

At the different stages of deciding to apply for a PhD, various advisors have done their best to keep me from idealizing the university life. I think I've managed to get a realistic outlook, but still can't be sure that I'm cut out for a huge project such as this, or the future it might lead to for that matter. However, isn't that the very question at the heart of every significant life choice? Sometimes, diving into the deep end is the thing to do if one wants to see below the surface.