BTSB has received leaked information on the results of the SUBlympics this orientation week! The freshmen were asked to compose double haikus, summing up their feelings of their first days as university students. Without further ado, here they are, these autumnal buds of poetic genius: Everything is new What the fuck is happening The hell should I know

So many people I can't remember their names Nothing more to say

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We are so confused Tired after the day's walks We just want to rest

Pants moist from the grass The mighty Norpat rises To a new challenge"

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I am not yet drunk Therefore asking me to write A haiku is wrong

Confused as I was I am sure our tutors will Help me get wasted

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Where the fuck am I Is there anyone who cares The tutors perhaps

The teachers perhaps No, they just want to get drunk But hey, so do I