Tired of looking for higher education that’s been tailored to your specific needs and ensures you a rich and plentiful academic career with excellent job opportunities?
Tired of having an encouraging student body coupled with a professional faculty staff help you along your path to your chosen degree?
Tired of waking up every morning with a smile on your face and being actually happy about going to school?
SO ARE WE!
At the Faculty of Arts you’ll find everything you’ve been looking for handed to you on a stained, wouldn’t-pass-as-silver-even-to-a-blind-man platter. Yes, definitely a platter of some kind.
We are the only department of the university that promises to meet your needs halfway and then fails to show up.
We encourage teamwork in all its forms as long as the result is finding the nearest exit.
The students and the staff share a special bond: they are often seen together at the employment office.
We offer you such courses as Theoretical Philosophy, English Philology, Intercultural Communication and many others with fancy names and absolutely no content to boot.
Our early lectures are an excellent way for men, too, to experience morning sickness.
We will teach you how to be bohemian and lofty — in other words just gay enough to leave people guessing.
Especially male students will enjoy our outdated study material over delicious meals cooked and served by the female students.
You’ll find our beautiful faculty building by taking a left from the main campus road, another left past the homeless shelter, through the narrow aisle between the amateur theatre and the morgue, through the trapdoor in the cellar of the brothel into the sewers, taking the first right, climbing up the ladder into the abandoned warehouse, sneaking past the mafia thugs carrying bags of smack, running through the yard before the rabid guard dogs catch you and by regaining consciousness after the one-armed man with no teeth and a face so hideous it looks like the scrap book of a blind sculptor beats the crap out of you for barging into his house while he’s in the process of dancing naked and singing along to Frank Sinatra’s Love’s Been Good To Me.
To apply:
Come talk to the faculty staff at any time the employment office is open. Remember, we accept only almost everybody (multitaskers and overachievers don’t bother).
Si Hoc Legere Scis, Nimis Eruditionis Habes
[tags]faculty, arts[/tags]