Getting Through the Holidays

Ah, the holidays. ‘Tis the season to be jolly. Time to stuff our faces with porridge and gingerbreads or matzo ball soup and rugelach, right? Unfortunately things aren’t always that fun and easy. Maybe it’s because you can’t spend them with your family or that you’re forced to stand your relatives for far longer than you’d like, the holidays can be a lot to handle. Or perhaps you’re stressed about presents, food, or overall budgeting for a party you’re hosting. You might be worried about the amount of food you’ll eat and how much you’ll drink. Well, whatever the case, if you’ve opened this article and read this extremely positive introduction, I’d dare to assume you’re here for some hot tips. Well buckle up, I’m about to spit some facts.

Less than ideal company and dealing with other people’s bull-

So, you won’t be spending the holidays with those who you’d like to spend them with? Instead of having fun with your friends you’re going to sit next to your annoying uncle at a big dinner table and listen to his boring stories about work while your grandmother keeps pestering you about your love life? Maybe you’ve been invited to a party with people you don’t exactly get along with and you have only one friend there with you? Here are some ways to deal with these situations:

Number 1:

Limit your time with annoying people to the bare minimum. You can be the last one to arrive and the first one to leave. I do know that these require some independent means of transportation to and from the place of the party, so they’re not options for everyone. If leaving early isn’t possible, make sure you have at least one person (or more) at the party who you like and trust and spend as much time with them as you possibly can. If you have a large group of family members, relatives or friends present, you can choose who you hang out with while you’re not gathered around the dinner table.

Number 2:

Make sure you have a way out every now and again. Go for a walk, build a snowman, watch a movie, whatever you need. You’re allowed to take breaks. You could always complain about a headache and say that you need to rest for a bit, maybe talk to a friend on the phone about what or whoever is bothering you and breathe for a moment. We all need to recharge and it’s ok.

Number 3:

Leave the conversations you’re not willing to have. Academic success, politics, gender, sexuality, and other similar subjects may arise at some point, but you are in no way obligated to sit through such conversations. If the people around the dinner table are going to discriminate against you or someone you care about, for example, you can, and most likely should, leave. Sometimes it’s worth a shot to try and change their minds, but unfortunately some people are not willing to let go of their hurtful beliefs. Regardless of how rude it may seem to the people around you, you shouldn’t force yourself to sit through their ranting. You can excuse yourself to the restroom, say that you need some fresh air or that you’re not feeling well and need to rest for a moment. No one should have to just sit there and take blatant disrespect from anyone. Not a friend, a family member or a relative.

I do have to note that the aforementioned excuses should be used sparingly, because some people may start hassling over you if you seem to be too ill.

Lack of company

All alone over the holiday season? Unable to see the people you thought you’d see? This can go one of two ways:

Number 1:

You take this opportunity to recharge your batteries and rest. Our society is very fast-paced and demanding, so once the holiday season arrives you may be closer to a burnout than you might even realise. Stay at home, binge your favourite shows and eat good food. Get some rest. Getting back to school or work after the holidays can feel daunting or even impossible if you’re already tired and worn out. Wanting to be alone and needing some time to recharge is more than understandable.

Number 2:

Can’t stand the idea of not seeing people for weeks? Then, you’ll have to ask some of your loved ones if they could join you for some fun activities over your break. Perhaps you’ll spend the actual holidays alone, but you won’t be all on your own for the entire time. Especially for those who live alone and need a lot of social stimulation to stay active, that can be very damaging. Discuss your situation with your friends and family and see what works best for all of you. It’s more than likely you’ll find someone to hang out with once or twice during the holidays. No one should be left all alone unless they so desire.

Budgeting for presents, food, and/or drinks

Financial anxiety can rear its head in these last couple of months, especially if you’re hosting a party with multiple guests or sending out cards. There can be a lot of pressure to spend money on the best foods and drinks, getting everyone exactly the kinds of presents they’ll enjoy and so on and so forth. Here are some ways to tackle these feelings:

Number 1:

Go for cheaper options. Instead of physical cards, send out emails. Instead of making all the food by yourself, suggest that everyone attending the party brings a dish, their own drinks or both. And finally, instead of getting everyone some super expensive present, get them something simple. Something like homemade cookies, friendship bracelets or hand-written letters. It’s not the value of the gift, but rather the thought behind it that counts. Your loved ones will appreciate your efforts regardless of the price tag on the present. If they don’t, they’re greedy bastards who don’t deserve you and your presents anyway.

Number 2:

Get joint presents with someone. You’ll both contribute to the expenses by paying for half of everything. This way, you can both cut costs down significantly while still getting presents for your loved ones. And, what’s best in my opinion, the time you have to spend shopping won’t be as long since you’re not doing it all alone.

Number 3:

Let the people around you know that you’re going through a hard time. If they truly care about you, they will understand if you don’t send out cards or buy presents and won’t shame you for it. If your financial situation and overall budgeting is causing your anxiety to peak, take a step back, breathe and relax. You don’t have to spend money on presents, decorations, or food for the holiday season. The holidays will be fun even if you don’t spend a lot of money. Or any, for that matter.

Eating and drinking

Do you get that weird guilty feeling after finishing your plate of food at the dinner table? Ashamed of asking for seconds? Do you feel like you need to hit the gym even harder now that you’ve been eating all the delicious food or because you drank too much alcohol? Well, my dear, I’m here to remind you about a few things:

Number 1:

You don’t have to earn the food you eat in any way. You need to eat, just like anybody else. So what if you have a bit more food on your plate than your sister, for example? That doesn’t mean you’re any less worthy of love and respect. Your personal worth is not determined by your weight or how you look, or by the arbitrary number or combination of letters on the tag of your clothes. You’re beautiful regardless of your shape and size. I don’t care if some of your family members or relatives may claim otherwise, because they’re all wrong. Sure, I don’t know all of you, but that won’t change my mind. You’re gorgeous. End of discussion.

Number 2:

As long as you’re not getting blackout drunk and doing something regrettable while you’re under the influence of alcohol, it’s okay to drink. Do remember to drink non-alcoholic drinks as well and eat food to pace yourself at times, you’re not there to get wasted.

And if you feel uncomfortable with the idea of drinking alcohol, you don’t have to. In my family, for example, my parents drink wine while my brothers and I do not. I usually go for juice, lemonade, or plain water instead of alcoholic drinks, and if none are provided otherwise, I buy them myself. I also make sure that everyone at the party knows my boundaries and respects them. I either always fill my own glass or tie a ribbon around it to remind others not to pour alcohol into it.

In conclusion:

Whatever it may be that is causing you to worry or feel anxious about the upcoming holidays, there is a way to handle it. Your feelings matter just as much as everyone else’s and you shouldn’t have to suffer silently because it’s the holiday season. Take care of yourself, and remember, you’re allowed to say no, take breaks and set your own boundaries regarding food, drinks, conversations, and finances. Get some rest, watch cute holiday movies, and hang out with your favourite people. And last but not least, eat lots of delicious food.

Have the happiest of holidays, see you next year!