Chief Editor’s Note: I Am Not Perfect, But I Am Proud

Perfectionism is talked about widely - and for good reasons. I myself have always been a perfectionist. And I believe aspiring to succeed is a good thing, because it can help us get through the things we need to do. But perfectionism is not all that great. It’s also tiresome, sometimes even exhausting. Now that autumn is here and the university has started, I’ve found myself yet again side-by-side with my old friend.

For me personally, perfectionism manifests most with the things I love to do - like singing, studying and writing. It creeps in quietly and then just lingers close by, like that awkward uncle at the family get-together. And once it has stood around long enough, it tries to start a conversation, at a time you don’t wish to be bothered. I’ve been interrupted at least a dozen times while both planning and writing this chief editor’s note. And those interruptions have made it very difficult to even open my draft on some nights. It’s like being the living embodiment of sadness - sadness of never writing “perfectly”.

Even though I was excited to be the new editor-in-chief for BTSB, I was also nervous. It was very much like when I first joined: I found myself thinking whether my texts would be good enough. I’ve been reading ever since I could pick up a book and that has honestly made quite an impact on my character. As a child I’d dream about writing and publishing my own texts, and thus inspiring others. Today I lay in my room and imagine what it would be like for a real person to open a novel with my name on the cover and be amazed. I wish for others to someday get something great out of my various works, because that is what influenced me. And it still does. But because of my perfectionism, I rarely believe my work would be as great as the classics I’ve grown up reading. It’s a real battle, let me tell you - trying to go forward with your dream when there is a crushing shadow over you.

I’ve read a lot of previous chief editor notes during these past weeks. I find it easier to start something new after analysing how others have done it. And let me tell you, I’ve been in awe of the ranging topics. But even more of the different writing styles I’ve seen. People here have such different styles of expressing themselves through text. Some like it casual, some more analytical and some enjoy playing with their artistic side. It’s all so inspiring.

With this new inspiration, I’ve been feeling more grateful for my own style of writing. It reflects what I would enjoy reading and what personally resonates with me. It’s a mixture of the artists who have influenced me throughout the years. My writing doesn’t need to read a certain way to be perfect. It doesn’t need to be hilarious or something creatively ground-breaking. It can be just the way I like it. Here at BTSB we have plenty of unique editors who provide helpful feedback and support others. I’m very grateful for these people, and this space we together have created.

I can’t say my perfectionism has disappeared, but I’m slowly learning to let go of fear. I’m being kinder to myself, and I don’t hate having conversations with that awkward uncle from time to time. I’m not putting so much pressure on how others view my work. And I advise you, the person reading this, to do the same. Write what you want, just the way you want. Be proud of your own style.

Today is the day we here at BTSB get to publish an issue filled with many unique writing styles! In this first issue of the autumn Emilia ranks all eight Bridgerton novels, and Sini talks about sorrow in a breathtaking poem of hers. Robi gives us two new pieces; an interview with some of our new freshers and a touching description on attachment, happening in the blink of an eye. Along this note, I myself have the pleasure of giving you a tiny collection of love poems straight from my heart