the cross i bear is heavier than light

altar

a whisper, a hush
murmured devotion so shy the wind means to snatch it from us
she fights us for it, ripping our words from our grasp

turn me away from the flood lights so they can’t see my face
they will never know your shame, you are simply a boy who is standing next to another boy
hide me away
tuck me into the back right corner of the last row of pews 
the place we call home
sweat slick on sweat as we grip each others fingers under the gaze of the one we call creator

shh, shh, shh

they’ll never know how devoted you are
the good little preacher’s boy

on his knees in service
on his knees in prayer

on his knees for me

communion

what a wonderful sight
something sacred lies beneath me
blessed be those who have eyes
blessed be me to use mine in such a manner

you look so pretty as you lay wrapped up for me 
ribbon tied around your wrists, holding you steady and conscious
the red a shock, pressing dips into your skin
contrast playing tricks on my unworthy gaze

you wait blind, exposed
full of lust and full of trust
panting
ready

a gift from Him, waiting for me 
waiting to be seen, to be heard, to be touched
to be opened

i do exactly that, melting into you from the outside 
working my way in as you squirm 
i hold you down, my hands ice against your hips
you burn underneath me
the flames of your skin arching up
licking against my body as i trail up yours

holy water, holy water
sanctified be the ones who have faith

my faith is you

i take my time with every inch of you
finding every freckle
pressing my lips to every mark, every scar
painting you like the masterpiece you are
a work of art made with only purple and red
the chapel ceiling of my own creation 

you breathe a prayer 
it sounds like my name

i worship you 
and as i feel you fall apart under my tongue 
i know you know that i do 

conclave

the backdoor creaks
the dark wood aching as it gives in to the pressure
the building shivers
the crowd moans in appreciation, humming hymns that match scripture

the cardinals collapse
their bodies failing as gospel flows through their veins
taken by faith, taken by belief
healing approaching every one of them as the walls begin to crack around them

it starts as dust, then grows to gravel, to rocks and stones
and finally to man-sized pieces of steeple that thunder to the ground into the congregation of red-clad officials beneath the wooden structure at the front of the room 
blessed that they were chosen to fall from grace in such a good place
a holy place 
a house of worship and a light in the dark

the reverberation of liberation in the name of all that is divine becomes them
splitting them apart as it floods their bellies, bursting at the seams to prove its worth to the world
they shudder, they spasm, they shake as it rolls through them
the white purity of innocence painting their very souls

they scream in simultaneous release 
their sermon concluded, they have met their God

they know He lives inside them

they know He loves inside them

genesis

love the way i love
fuck the way i fuck
shame the way i shame
bleed the way i bleed

i am You and you are Me 

come now
let's be each other's denouement.