So we have this proud tradition in BTSB on calling Ylioppilaslehti out whenever they act like morons and it seems like this year’s editor-in-chief Antti Pikkanen is going to have his share of this glory – congratulations! You might have heard about Ylioppilaslehti’s feature where they send a public figure an item they think comments sharply on their opinions. Deputy Mayor of Helsinki, Laura Räty, received a tent. Ice hockey institute Juhani Tamminen received a subscription of a gay life-style magazine. I think that these acts were properly thought out pieces of criticism. Many people think that Räty is responsible for sending a group of women to sleep in the freezing cold winter night and Tamminen made an ignorant statement about not “noticing gays in ice-hockey circles for 60 years.”

These well-put statements make it even harder to understand what was the logic behind sending Maaret Kallio, psychotherapist and novelist who writes about relationships in Helsingin Sanomat, a vibrator. So far Ylioppilaslehti hasn’t offered any proper explanation on their article other than that “its purpose lies somewhere between humor and criticism.”

Let’s think about that for a moment. It is an age-old technique to try to embarrass women and minimize their opinions by connecting them to their bodies, taking the attention away from their minds and thoughts. Kallio’s blog in Helsingin Sanomat might be full of feel-good aphorisms, but implying that she writes these kinds of blog entries because she “just needs to get some” is low. It is also the oldest explanation in the book (actually, “boys will be boys” might be the oldest, sorry about that) to tell the victim of bullying that the offender was just joking around. This makes the victim the bad guy, “the humorless lesbian feminist” character who just couldn’t take the joke.

And hey, let’s talk about that apology Ylioppilaslehti sent to Kallio. Editors who probably study or have studied some media and communication studies or languages might be familiar with the concept of fake apologies. All of us have probably encountered this, especially these days in Finnish political discussions. Our Finance Minister has demonstrated his understanding of how important proper public apologies are by responding to him getting caught on a blatant lie to the Parliament by saying, “Sorry about that.”

Ylioppilaslehti’s apology goes on saying that “if Kallio feels like she has been sexually harassed”, they are sorry.

Dude.

By using words like “if”, you don’t own up to what you’ve done but instead put the blame on the victim. Kallio clearly stated in her blog that she feels that this is harassment and that this act is directed towards her gender. If you actually read her statement, you cannot miss the fact that she actually did feel harassed. Also the whole “joke” should be condemned, even if the target didn’t express their feelings. This is what is infuriating about this case – sending a sex toy could make the target feel ashamed and not speak out.

And Pikkanen, if you need help in forming a real apology for Kallio, here’s a vlog entry by one of my favorite feminists, Franchesca Ramsey, who presents guidelines to follow in order to make a real apology.

Don’t be that guy, who thinks that just because someone finds your joke offensive, they are the ones to blame. Don’t be that guy who demonstrates that if you’re a woman talking about sex or relationship, you’re open for anything. Don’t be that politically motivated guy who thinks that being a public figure makes it ok to sexually harass someone and that trying to silence them with embarrassment is ok.

Read more: “Sexual harassment is not journalism”