Suiting-up for Dummies Like Me

Being an outgoing man of the partying kind has never been easier. In the postmodern 21st century world you don't usually need to worry over the differences between various shirt collars, tuxedos and tailcoats – it is enough to throw on your trusty black (or gray, or dark blue, or "it used to be black") suit that you got for your confirmation or when you graduated high school and just let your inner beauty shine through. And hey, it's totally cool to laugh at the ladies fretting over their hairdos, shoes, dresses and whatnot! Isn't it? Isn't it!?

Approaching the subject from – shall we say – a more appreciative point of view, even us men can do add little touches of glamour and suave to our evening gear, which will come in handy especially if you happen to end up in a slightly more formal event with –gasp!– people you don't know that well. Let's start with the utmost basics for a successful, classy evening occasion, with us here at BTSB substituting for your mama:

#1. Take a shower and wash your hair. No matter what you wear, how much bling you don, how sweet shoes you put on, if you're not clean and smell fresh it all goes to waste. Usually, this is not a problem with most guys and geezers, but sometimes feedback speaks otherwise.

#2. Shave. No-one's saying that we all need to wear our faces naked, but make sure that your bear-do is trimmed from the edges and matches the event you're going to. And if nothing else, make sure that your bushy full beard is so breath-taking that its mere appearance silences all objections. Give off the impression that you've planned your facial growths all along, just for the night.

#3. Make sure your clothes are clean and don't need mending. The problem with inexpensive suits is that their fabric is weak and subject to wear and tear in rather little time. If you're not in the habit of destroying suits during your sitsi ventures, think of investing to a suit that will last for years – a classic black suit can last you a lifetime if it faces no catastrophes. Also remember that dry cleaners and tailors are your best friends in saving your favorite pieces of party-wear – and the price isn't too bad for the years it'll get you.

But what to do if you're on a low budget and your trusty jacket takes its last breath or your trousers just will not contain your expanding manliness? The best speed/price ratio is achieved by attending your local UFF store and heading for their men's section. There are many jackets and trousers to choose from, but the most important thing to ensure is that the piece of clothing in question fits – baggy suits just ain't sexy, bros. For most smart casual and similar dress codes, a fitting jacket is all you'll ever need to add to a nice pair of jeans – and they can be found for bargain prices.


Even if you own just The One Suit, but want to have some room for additional classiness in your wardrobe, there are a couple things you can do to spice it up. A selection of dress shirts of different colors is not that difficult to obtain for reasonable prices and matching ties can usually be found too. Just remember to check that you really have ties that match your shirts – if you're worried about color and style blindess, ask a (girl)friend or the salesperson and don't underestimate the power of your mama.

Further, scarves and bowties get you a bit more glamour for themed parties, but normally you probably don't need to bother with them. Skinny ties might appear casual, but only if you're still living the 80s. Then the final, most important thing about ties that always, ALWAYS, remains true. “Funny” ties are not funny.

Finally, shoes can make an ordinary suit rise to its proverbial wings and guarantee attention. With guest comments by editor Patrik Renholm, we end with a listing on the secret language of shoes that will help you pick the pair that gets people to say “John, I'm not just dancing...”

Oxblood Oxfords

The Message You Are Trying To Send: The person wearing these shoes takes risks, but does so in a stylish manner. Also, he wants you to comment on the awesome alliteration that led to the choice of these shoes in the first place!

The Message Others Receive: Guess this guy doesn't own another pair of dress shoes.

Vegan shoes

The Message You Are Trying To Send: The person wearing these shoes not only has cool-looking shoes, but has also chosen them for the fact that no animal cruelty was necessiated by the making of them.

The Message Others Receive: Wow, that guy's leather shoes look really cheap.


The Message You Are Trying To Send: “The person wearing these shoes is sophisticated and has thus gone for a timeless classic.”

The Message Others Receive: “This person never got the memo about the 1950's being out of style.”

White Dress Shoes

The Message You Are Trying To Send: “The person wearing this shoes is not an ordinary, boring man, but an unfound jewel, a real nice catch.”

The Message Others Receive: “This person really needs help!”


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The Dance Floor