Slán
By the time you’re reading this, my exchange semester will be over and I’ll be back in Finland, probably barely conscious of the world around me, preparing for Christmas with my family. But to me right now, that is in the future. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on the bed of my dorm room, listening to a playlist of random songs that my friends specifically compiled for my exchange semester. I asked them to add songs to it before I left so I’d have a part of them with me whenever I needed it, and honestly, that playlist has gotten me through some pretty intense home sickness. And now, it’s helping me deal with so much more.
My lectures ended in November, after that I’ve been sick and now I’m drowning in essay deadlines. The timing system at UCC stacks all deadlines very close to each other, and it is very difficult to manage all of it at once. It would be a lot on its own, but there’s a whole bunch of other stuff going on at the same time. Once I’ve turned everything in, I still have to pack up the life that I’ve made for myself in this country. Goodbyes and tears and promises and hugs and silent bus rides home with an empty mind but a full heart. Some goodbyes have already happened. And the emotional response set in a while back. There’s a deep, almost aching melancholy flooding my senses when I walk to campus or grab bread from the grocery store or order a hot chocolate at my usual café. I’m saying goodbye to them in my own way.
It all feels very bittersweet. But I don’t get to sit with that feeling because the end of the exchange semester is so busy. The deadlines and the goodbyes are almost eclipsed by the mountain of things I have to do for my move back to Finland. I have to pack all of my stuff, clean my room, find a place for everything I bought that I can’t or just have no reason to take home (and by god does it feel daunting to think about sorting through all of that) and then bring everything to whatever charity shop I can find and do my laundry and empty my pantry and my shelf in the fridge and then I have to make sure my exchange paperwork is in order and that I’ve remembered to tell the government that I’m moving again. And mind you, I don’t have an apartment to move back into in Finland, so I’m also looking for a new place and making sure I meet work deadlines in January before I get back to university. The stress is a lot to deal with, but I’ve felt worse so I know I’ll pull through.
And even with all of that weighing on my mind and my body and my sleep, I wouldn’t dream of taking this experience back. These four months have been busy and exhausting at times, but also incredibly rewarding and wonderful. I know most of my memories from this semester are positive, and I will cherish the memories I’ve made along the way. I’m feeling a lot right now, but over time it’ll balance out. With that, I’d like to say go raibh maith agat Éire.
