I believe I once promised you a list of all the things that sucked in Spain. Or at least the Top 50. I realize that listing the things that sucked might sound like complaining, but if you wanted only the good things, you could just as well ask a travel agency. Besides, as the hard-hitting journalist that I am, I feel compelled to tell my readers the truth, the whole truth and a little more than the truth, so help me Jeff, the god of biscuits. So here it is:
THINGS THAT SUCKED IN SPAIN (in random order)
1. The rain 2. Phones that never work 3. Fish, as a main course. Just a whole fish, nothing more. What the hell is that? 4. Gallego, the local language (what the hell happened to Spanish, I'm in Spain!) 5. The 35 min bus ride to the mountain campus in a jam-packed bus with no air 6. The dubbing 7. The local public transportation "system" (although, it's not really a system, per se) 8. The lack of parks, trees etc. in the city 9. The lack of basketball courts 10. The lack of skills of the local basketball players (there may be a connection..) 11. The infrastructure of the country 12. The hypocracy of some of the exchange student girls (different area code...) 13. Too many cars on the streets (by about 500 %) 14. "Put your hands up for Detroit" WAY too many times at clubs 15. The offensively tall transvestite who harassed me in front of Gazty 16. The motor of Citroen C3 in the mountains 17. The grenades that are classified as "fireworks" in Valencia and Sagunto 18. Sub-zero temperatures while in shorts (hung like a seahorse) 19. The constant drizzle that wouldn't quit...ever 20. The professional sports teams in Vigo 21. The Italian guy who kept hitting on anything that moved (I stood very still..) 22. My friend, Fab, who kept hitting on anything that moved 23. Me not being able to be hitting on anything that moved 24. Summer not showing up until I was just leaving 25. The water pressure (non-existent, obviously..) 26. Fat-Kat, who ate all the wires, earphones, chargers and kept hanging out in bags and literally chilling IN the fridge 27. The 4 simultaneous English accents of a teacher (it actually hurts) 28. Having to run to the bus stop EVERY morning due to lack of motivation 29. Having to run a half-marathon by accident 30. Having to run into the crazy girl who stalked me, repeatedly 31. The girl who thought and dressed as if she looked like Jessica Alba, when she actually looked like Fat Bastard 31. Being called a "hairy fatto" by Nick 32. Actually looking like a hairy fatto in the photo below.. 33. Losing my A-town cap in Madrid because of a cheese incident 34. The pouring monsoon-type of rain 35. Having to shave my beard (but HAHAA, I already have a new one!!) 36. The "food" at a "famous" restaurant in Segovia 37. The San Pepe festival that made Roskilde look like a tea party at the Hendersons' 38. The unattractive lesbian couple that got WAY too physical at the Brasilian club 39. The lack of attractive lesbian couples altogether 40. Having to lather Aloe Vera on Houdini's burnt hamstrings, 'cause he COULDN'T! 41. People who "commented" my blog, but never actually commented on anything.. 42. Being the only guy in the class whose teacher is a raging feminist.. (got a 9,5) 43. Almost getting killed by an angry and jealous bouncer in Barcelona 44. Almost getting killed by a huge wave in Bayona 45. Almost getting killed when Kataya was behind the wheel in the mountains 46. The type of rain that goes into your nostrils 47. The men in tights at the gym 48. The people who just STOOD AROUND on the dance floor, smoking (It's Spain!!) 49. My lumpy hammock that the land-lady called a "bed" 50. Having to come back..
As you may guess from no. 50, these things, although sucky at the time, gave birth to the stories in this blog and created even more memories. I wouldn't trade my time in Vigo and elsewhere in Spain for (almost) anything and I urge all of you to use all the chances you get to hang out abroad at various locations, doing various things. It truly is "all that and a bag of potato chips".
So like Ben Stiller would say in Starsky & Hutch: "DO IT!"
Check in soon for the intro of the next trip [tags]vigo, j-man, top, 50, spain, suck[/tags]