Helsinki in Details - Part 4
Welcome back to exploring the interesting details in Helsinki with your local guide, Emilia. Local is maybe stretching it considering that the organs I would have to auction to live in today's postcode 00140 (Ullanlinna) are numerous and some I am rather reluctant to let go of. However, you will have to do with me as no one else is willing to embark on this journey during Superbowl which is what I call windy weather in the most coastal regions of Helsinki — you will be bowled over, and it will be super in speed but perhaps not in elegance.
We will start with a hidden moat in Armi Ratia's park. If you look down, you can see graffiti and murals covering the walls. Graffiti are hard to come by in Ullanlinna so take them in before one of the many Ullanlinna castle owners decide to use the moat in a more typically medieval fashion.
This postcode includes islands in the Helsinki archipelago like Luoto that I cannot access without a private boat, something I am very unlikely to hire for my 0 euro commission to write this article. However, provided with a substantial amount of compensation I will swim there like a little fishie.
Right behind Rauhanpatsas on Ehrenströmintie you will find an useful tool in the case you notice a BTSB author being provided with substantial compensation to go photograph Luoto.
These stone lynxes on Itäinen puistotie represent my desire to leave my bed this morning to go to South Helsinki after seeing the 12 m/s wind forecast.
Interestingly enough, the famous rug washing docks of Kaivopuisto actually provide a functional mangle for squeezing out water from cleaned rugs. A fun summer day activity to consider. I for one am dying to haul my carpet here and rub it clean on my hands and knees while people sipping cocktails at the restaurant Mattolaituri stare at me.
In Kaivopuisto, you can also play life-sized chess on these handy boards near Kompassitori. If you don't happen to possess any irregularly sized chess pieces, you can just assemble 32 friends, divide them equally with your opponent (the 33rd friend) and move them about until a victory is reached — but if you ask me, the truest victory is having that many friends :)
Another curious Kaivopuisto artifact is these two friends carved from a wood block. They seem to be desperately clinging to a tree trunk which is honestly just something one ends up doing in Kaivopuisto, especially during Vappu.
On Kapteeninkatu you will find an art nouveau style building called "Maja" which is exactly what one envisions when one imagines the Finnish word maja.
Straight ahead from Maja we have a sculpture by Pekka Kauhanen. It depicts a headless little girl and her companion who seems to consist mostly of brain matter without any distinguishable limbs or other human features. This art piece perfectly embodies horrors found only in Lovecraftian imagination... and is located suitably right next to the Kapteeninpuistikko children’s playground.
In Vuorimiehenpuistikko you will observe a hidden mural that depicts the two modes of transport available to Finns; either a blue hippie bus or a horse riddled with melancholia. I usually take the melancholic horse. It's just more relatable as we both share the incessant misery of maintaining bangs.
Suck it New York! We have our own Flatiron building on Vuorimiehenkatu. Ours is arguably the original too because everyone knows Finns invited flat-ironing — or using a hot rock to flatten something. I certainly do feel flattened when my sauna companions keep throwing excessive amounts of water to the stove stones but I feel too awkward to flee.
And finally, if you look up in Pietarinkatu you will see a charming mural of a globe. It depicts the journey I have taken today. If Jules Verne were alive, he would surely write about my adventures. But alas, my efforts will only be recognized by you, dear reader, so build a statue in my likeness or like this article — either or is fine I suppose.
